Your mom’s love and approval matters to you. Of course, it does! If you have ever sighed in frustration, “I don’t know how to make my mom happy,” read on for some simple ideas to bring a little joy into your mother’s life.
How to Make Mom Happy
Having an adult child can be difficult for a mom. She raised you since you were a helpless baby. You relied on her for everything. You listened to her and (mostly) obeyed her.
But now you are all grown up and she finds herself in uncharted territory. She can only offer you advice, and when you don’t take it, she can feel discounted–or worse–criticized.
Do you want to bring some positivity to your relationship? Here are some tips on how to make your mom happy.
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Fun Activities to Do with Mom
Your mom misses having you at home with her. She may not be able to express it, but she likely misses you more than you miss being with her. That’s the rub of being a mother with grown children.
Bring a little happiness to both your lives by doing some fun activities together. Here are some ideas:
- Spa Day. You can go to an actual salon or spa for a mani-pedi, or you can just sit at home together and pamper yourselves.
- Fresh Air and Veggies. Take a morning trip to the farmer’s market to buy some fresh produce and check out the gourmet goodies for sale.
- Trees and Trails. Explore a local park or nature trail together.
- Paint and Crafts. Go to a paint night (some even serve wine) and create something lovely–or at least laugh your way through the attempt! Prefer an at-home experience (this is perfect if you don’t live close)? Try a virtual paint night.
Being a Good Person
Your mother wants to know that she raised you right. If you have been wondering how to make your mom happy, look no further than yourself.
You being a stand-up, good person is a testimony to all she did. Even if your mother is not your best example herself, you can rise above for your relationship. Healthy, compassionate people are the only ones capable of strengthening a relationship.
What are the qualities of a good person? And how does that manifest itself in the mother-daughter relationship?
A good person keeps her word. Did you promise to be somewhere/call your mom/do something with her? Keep that promise. When you say yes to something, follow through.
A good person is compassionate. We all need to strive to see the world through someone else’s eyes–know their struggles, understand where they are coming from. When we do this with our own mother, we can extend her compassion and understanding
A good person is honest (but not brutally so). Tell the truth to your mom, but don’t use that as an excuse to say whatever you think without regard to her feelings.
A good person knows that all people matter–and that includes herself. Take care of yourself–mind, boy, and spirit. Know your own worth, regardless of your mom’s opinion of you.
And–last but not least–a good person is loving.
Maybe your mother is a saint. Congratulations! You won the lottery because your mom is already happy! For the rest of us, the journey to how to make Mom happy means extending unconditional love to an imperfect person.
As humans, it is natural to hurt the people who have hurt you. It’s the old “eye for an eye” justification. But healing never comes from that. No healthy relationship can spring from an exchange of wounds.
Someone has to break the cycle and extend unconditional love. Sure, you wish your mom would do it. But maybe she can’t. Maybe she just doesn’t know how.
You can show her the way.
Unconditional love means, as the name suggests, that you love without condition. No one has to “shape up” in order to be worthy of your love or attention. Your love doesn’t rest on prerequisites. It’s an “I love you and that’s not going to change” sort of love.
Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you are a doormat, but it does mean that you don’t reciprocate when she acts in a hurtful way. If your mom says something passive aggressive, take a breath and see if you can let the comment roll off you. If she says something straight-up critical, keep your calm and tell her the truth in a loving way. Summon the patience of Job.
Unconditional love also means forgiveness. Forgiveness means you don’t carry anger for that person in your heart. You don’t use your mother’s past mistake as a continual weapon against her.
Know Your Mom’s Love Language
If you have ever read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you know that everyone has a way in which they communicate love. They both give–and receive–love that way. You may be expressing love to your mom in a way she doesn’t quite understand.
Find out how your mother most interprets the action of love and try some of these ideas to fill her happiness tank.
Quality time. Cook together. Go on outings (even the grocery store counts). Read the same book and discuss it–a mother-daughter book club!
Words of Affirmation. Send cards with a handwritten note–don’t rely on a store-bought message. Send her texts that show you love her and appreciate her. Recall fond memories aloud. Call her more.
Physical Touch. Hug your mom hello, goodbye, and just because. Sit by her. Link arms with her as you stroll around town.
Gifts. This one is more about the thought than the dollar sign. Remember special occasions and mark them in some way. Give her “just because” little gifts that remind you of her–a necklace, her favorite fruit, a hand soap in a scent she likes, etc.
Acts of Service. Assist your mom with around-the-house chores. Help her get down and put away her holiday decorations. Offer to drive her to a doctor’s appointment, even if she can drive herself.
Make Mom Happy
Now that you know how to make your mom happy, try some of these ideas. Chances are, she will appreciate your effort and maybe even return the favor!